Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
