I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
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Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
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All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize