plz talk dirty to me
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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