Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
