its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
