If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
pray to the hookup gods
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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