We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize