lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am midnight drunk by noon
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
