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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I want to go out and have good clean fun.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.

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• (310): View more from California

  Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?

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