mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize