There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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