No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
