If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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