i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
