Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
