Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So much rum. So many feels.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
