Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
cat food counts as protein by the way
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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