Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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