Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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