Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
