Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
