Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
