Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
