I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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