I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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