you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
