if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
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I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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