so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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