i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!