I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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