Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize