Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
