he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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