Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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