oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
