I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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