It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
