bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Soap is not a condiment
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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