I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
