U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
