I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize