i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
