did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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