i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just want nice things and good sex
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
