her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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