their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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