every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
BRING THE BAGELS
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
