I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
there is glitter all over my balls
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
