Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
