As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
