and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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