the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
