Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize