I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
