Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
