U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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