i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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